Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
