why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
