One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize