I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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