A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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