I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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