This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
