Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
