She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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