ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you have to choose: penises or morals?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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