I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
