When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Boobs speak an international language.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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