I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
