no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
