So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
