there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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