I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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