I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
