garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize