My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
