omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
