is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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