Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
