Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
