Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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