sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
