I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
