It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
