bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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