She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
