I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
