u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
