Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
