Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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