Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
