if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I did not marry a roomba.
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