singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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