why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
