I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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