I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
