your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
