I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my poor anus
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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