if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
