He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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