Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
