I'm going to jail i love you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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