its not stalking. its research.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
