What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
