I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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