hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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