Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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