So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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