How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He better not be in your backpack
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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