My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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