i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
